With Instagram now declaring my daughters’ friends’ photos their own, sexting statistics nearing 1/3 of all those that text (for both adults AND KIDS) and unknown app developers churning out less than desirable apps at a staggering rate, do we even need to look further for New Year’s Resolutions.

While we spoke with The Online Mom’s Monica Villa back in the fall, we wanted to wait until the 1st of the New Year to supply you with her applicable info & necessary tips for our kids to be safe(r) as we begin a brand new year.

Several years ago, after picking up her daughter from a playdate, Monica learned that the 1st graders were introduced to the shoot ‘em up game of Halo during the playdate. At that moment she decided to dedicate her full time career to informing parents about the online world to keep kids smart and safe with all the new tech that they crave.

Let’s face it, the tools (or adaptations of them) will always be here. Monica spoke of a clinical PhD psychologist who, when asked about the effects of our tech culture, he responded,” What did you expect would happen when we gave teens these devices?”

The Online Mom spoke with us about parents’ limited window of opportunity for involvement, so we need to seize the teachable moments as they present themselves. One example would be during dinner time conversation where you can better understand their angle and hear definitive examples that are given in regards to online usage and behavior.

As a result of our conversation with Monica, here’s my family’s reinforcement plan as we enter the new year:

1. Refrain from personal images and text on line
2. Implement a safer browsing strategy
3. Suppress YouTube via better controls   (great post from SecureMama on this subject as well)
4. Setup an agreement or contract between you & your child so ground rules are set
5. Use Filters to limit and/or catch problems before they occur 

Most importantly DO NOT assume that you can’t catch up or that the tech train has passed you by, Just do your homework, the info is out there

Thank you Monica & Happy New Year!!!

And don’t forget to join @theonlinemom and friends this Wednesday at 9pm ET as they chat about tech and family life.

I thought crying after dropping our girls off for school was reserved for the early days of September.

But here we are today, aching after dropping each daughter off.

My heart hurts in worry and fear of the unmentionable.

My heart breaks for those parents who, unknowingly, said their last goodbyes to their babies.

It’s all so wrong.

My anger, so raw, as I struggle to figure out what to do today and every day to protect.

To prevent.

To trust.

As Lisa Belkin said in Huff Post, “We can’t just grieve & hold our children close. We have to demand that our country earn the right to call itself a civilized nation..our central job as parents..is to keep our children safe. Make your demands heard”

As Fred Rogers said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers“.

The teachers & staff of Sandy Hook Elementary are my heroes.  They saved lives and put the emotional & physical well being of the children above their own.

I dreamt of Kaitlin Roig, the elementary school teacher who kept telling her students, as she kept them hidden, how special they were.  She wanted those words to be the last that they heard.  Fred would have been proud. And in the end, she kept them safe.

Six other adults spared their lives for the sake of the children. Real heroes who fought against evil.

Is it even a question that assault Weapons or Semi-Automatic Firearms have no place in civilized society? Stricter gun laws & the removal of illegal guns from our streets would undoubtedly assist the situation.

While assembling this post, I  finger the serial number that’s etched inside my Caliber bracelet..the same number that was on the gun used to create it. While I’m pleased to know that illegal guns were taken off the streets and transformed into something positive (& beautiful), it gives me a certain sense of pride knowing that a percentage of the money will fund Newark’s gun buyback programs (& beyond).

Will the Caliber Collection solve the gun violence issue? If it were only that simple. But it is a form of ACTION that HELPS.

We need people who put their strong beliefs into action. Through Jewlery for a Cause, Jessica Mindich has raised over $300,000 for some 300 schools & charities..that’ll do more good than plain old media verbiage.

As I ride my train into Grand Central, I pray for the families of Newtown and the heroes of Sandy Hook Elementary.

And I pray for my daughters to be safe and feel safe at school today and every day. Be well

Downton Abbey..yeah, you could say I’m hooked. Which is why on Wednesday night I was in my TV glory.

I sat with a lucky bunch of NYC fans, to view a special screening of the popular PBS British-American series, followed up by Q & A with a bevy of the actors from Downton. Who knew how hip Mr. Carson (played by Jim Carter) was in real life or how sincere Thomas Barrow (Rob James-Collier) was? Going into season 3, they’re a somewhat modest bunch that seem to be soaking in the show’s success.

Thank you PBS for including me at such an event and a HUGE thank you to Julian Fellowes for writing every single episode of such a quality program..which is what PBS is all about.

So if you’re a fan, what is it that draws you into Downton Abbey?

What do we want for our children?

I want my daughters to believe that they can do anything that they want to do..within reason.  I want my daughters to learn everything they need to know to go out into the world and make a difference.  I want them to learn, 1st & foremost, what will make them happy. Especially as an Executive Producer in Children’s TV, I am uber aware of the influence that media has on all of us, including my daughters.

“Kids spend nearly 55 hrs a week watching television, texting or playing video games.”  -The Daily Green

What they see & hear truly affects their view of the world.  I give careful thought to even the smallest details in my shows – what the characters eat, how they feel, what they do, which character traits go with which character, and whether or not they should be boys or girls.  It’s important to me that we don’t show our characters eating sugary snacks and cakes for a “special occasion” because, truth be told, it’s always a special occasion on a television show. In addition, one study found that 98% of food ads seen by children on top-rated shows were for junk food  –Health & US News

We know that boys are more reluctant readers, so we intentionally chose our main character, Super Why, to be a boy. We know that there are much fewer girls on television so we made our main character, Blue, a girl.  And we made sure that she didn’t have long eyelashes nor a cute little bow. She is blue. And she is a girl.

But when I look at media as a whole, for my own daughters, I worry. As much as I can talk with them and model for them the type of women I would like them to grow up to be, I find that in media, women are still typecast in traditional roles, while men are portrayed as the more dominant figures. Women are stereotypically represented as dependent and emotional. Women are the mothers, and men are the bread winners. Women are under represented in television about 3:1.

“The fact that a majority of voice-overs on television are male, that there are more male news readers on TV & that many of the major film directors are men indicates that it is the male who has the authority & the control of the world of TV.” –Elena Beasley

This presents a male view of the world. When women are featured, their voices in commercials are often used to sell products such as laundry detergent, diapers & jewelry. And it should also comes as no surprise that advertisers typically use women as sex objects to sell a wide array of products.

We know there are no limits to what our children can do. So why are we feeding our children the idea of limits in the form of media?

And what can we do about it?

A lot.    [Thanks for joining us Bonbon Break friends!]

1. Model behavior in your own lives that needn’t be so defined by gender

2. Talk with your kids about such issues when opportunities present themselves in your day to day
   

3. Limit the amount of questionable media our kids ingest..the same way in which we limit the amount of sugar they eat.
   

4. Keep their dreams and expectations for themselves free and unrestrained

And I’ll do my part by continuing to write strong, smart female characters that create their own destinies!