Faster! Quick! Now! It seems like there’s always so much to do and not nearly enough time to do it all. If you’re like most people, you probably feel that your only choice is to speed up the pace at which you do everything just to keep up. But is that really necessary?

After all, wasn’t it “the pause” that had a lot to do with the success of Blue’s Clues, which has been on the air for an impressive 15 years? Whenever Steve asked the audience a question, he would pause for a few seconds before he made a move or gave the answer. This gave the preschool audience at home an opportunity to assess their thoughts and then voice a carefully considered decision. In a TV environment that is typically flooded with quick cuts and fast-moving action, our decision to slow it down was met with a lot of resistance. But we knew it would work and we persisted, and when we took the Blue’s Clues pilot out to research, we found that our approach was indeed a success.

In this modern, hectic world, it may feel counterintuitive to try to slow things down, but believe it or not, doing so can lead to a better quality of life.

If you’re fearful that decelerating will only lengthen your to-do list, try just one or two of my suggestions to see how you feel after slowing down the crazy train for a week:

Be a slow cooker. There seems to be more of an emphasis on the preparation speed than the quality of the actual food that is to be consumed. So take time, whenever you’re able, to pick out fresh ingredients and experiment with new recipes or cooking techniques. This will undoubtedly mean a little more time spent in the kitchen or grocery store, but consider the payoff: You’ll wake up your palate and expand your recipe repertoire. You may even find a few new favorite foods. And try to take this new slower pace to the table with you—when you sit down to enjoy your new cuisine, remember that the slower you eat, the less food you’ll need to feel full.

Check your list. Prioritize your to-do list, and if something doesn’t seem very important, delete it. For instance, we had planned an extensive redesign for our garage with fancy cubbies, elaborate hooks and adjustable shelves to the point where not only was it was requiring too much of our time but it was never going to get done. So we simplified our idea, because a garage, after all, is just a garage. Scaling down your list will give you time to really focus on the things that you need to do—and with less to worry about, they will be done that much better. There’s immense power in less.

Unplug. If you’re constantly wired, how will you find any downtime to enjoy what you’ve worked so hard to enjoy? Set up rules that you can stick to, about when the iPhone or Blackberry gets set to silent or when updating your Facebook status is off limits. In our house, we have a basket for cell phones in the kitchen, so when we’re all seated at dinner, we’re not disturbed by outside calls. You can always pick up your messages later.

Shift into medium gear.
Sometimes I’ll find myself literally speed walking to get things done around the office. Will that get things done quicker? For the short term, yes, but I’ll be spent before 5:00. The trickiest part for me is to step outside my body to see that I’m in overdrive mode and that I need to downshift. I don’t catch it all the time, but I’m working on it. Make an attempt to tune into your body and actions throughout the day. If you feel like you’re on the second leg of a triathlon, slow it down! It doesn’t have to be either the tortoise or the hare—find a nice comfortable pace in the middle. The mere act of awareness does wonders.

Did you ever think that children have so much energy because they do take the unhurried time to observe, explore and make the wonder of life so much fun without any rush? In this way, the assemblance of time seems to pass much slower for them. Just a thought to reflect on, being that you’ve slowed down.

I’ve seen it plenty of times—and it’s never pretty. I’m talking about the all-too-common supermarket showdown that pits child against parent. I’ve watched as humbled parents throw up their hands in defeat, tossing their last-choice snack into the cart to quiet a toddler’s tantrum. You’ve likely witnessed a supermarket meltdown—or perhaps, you’ve even experienced one yourself.

Taking your kids or grandkids with you to the supermarket can offer more than its share of setbacks. With all of the flashy, colorful, and sugary options lining store shelves, your little one is likely to try to push the limits and persuade, plead and pressure you into buying products you wouldn’t ever dream of bringing home. On the flip side, when kids are involved in the grocery shopping process, they’re more likely to want to eat the foods you’ve both selected later on. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re making the trip with any children in tow.

Just say no! Kids don’t fully understand the long-term consequences of unhealthy eating. It may be hard for you to say “No” in the moment, but consider this: Overweight teens often blame their parents for not setting stricter boundaries with regard to their childhood eating habits. It’s your job as a parent to be sensible and practical in the face of your child’s immediate desires. That being said, your child should feel they have some autonomy in the food selection process. So narrow down the options for your child by offering two OR three choices that you’re OK with, and then let your child decide which one they’d like.

Shop the ‘U,’ or the perimeter of the supermarket. The healthy options (fruits, vegetables, meats, fish, dairy) are located here, while the not-so-healthy (not to mention, more expensive) options are located in the center aisles.

Stick to the basics in the cereal aisle. One of the most treacherous spots in the supermarket is undoubtedly the cereal aisle. First, there are just so many options—it can be downright overwhelming. Second, it’s all too easy for your child to fall prey to the advertising strategies of shiny, colorful boxes laden with free toys inside. (In fact, the repeated exposure your child receives from television commercials can greatly impact their choices. Needless to say, limiting commercial exposure will make your life easier in the supermarket aisle.)

When you’re picking out a cereal, remember to look for choices with at least 3 grams of fiber and no more than 5 grams of sugar per 100 calories. And keep it simple—rely on basics like Cheerios, Shredded Wheat, Total or Kix. Raisin Bran is another good choice; note the sugar level is much higher—nearly 9 grams per 100 calories—mainly because of the naturally occurring sugar in the raisins. You can then tailor your cereal of choice to fit the tastes and preferences of each family member by letting them add dried fruit, nuts, or even mix with other cereals! This personalization and control over their choices gives them a sense of ownership and even pride, which can go a long way toward steering them to a path of lifelong healthy eating.

Avoid adult supermarket temptations.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that we, as adults, aren’t susceptible to temptations in the grocery store. Certainly you’ve debated with yourself over whether to toss a certain product into your cart or not. What prompts this “should I or shouldn’t I” debate? Instead of the sparkly bracelet in the cereal box, it may be clever marketing claims, special deals or strategically placed products. Speaking of strategically placed products, I swear those rich dark chocolate bars at the checkout aisle call my name quite often.

No need to fret though-everything in moderation. If I skip over the caramel and milk chocolate covered toffee candy bar and treat myself instead to a dark (not milk) chocolate bar once or twice a month, I won’t beat myself up. After all, the antioxidants are good for my cholesterol and it may lower my blood pressure. Just keep in mind, all of the rules above apply to ourselves as well.

As we’ve mentioned in an earlier post, STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Math) is what Sesame Street’s all about these days. We know that kids start out with a burning desire to investigate and explore, so we need to keep that fire fueled. Dr. Rosemarie Truglio (VP of Research and Education at Sesame Street) couldn’t agree more and is assisting the viewers at home in understanding and discussing their investigations, observations, recording of information & other tools used by all scientists and engineers.

We, as parents, are integral within this process by making the learning exciting and by keeping our kids engaged in whatever they are involved with. So it goes without saying that for a parent to tell their child, “I was never any good at math” isn’t at all helpful. Learning needs to be exciting and not just in the classroom.

The tireless process at Sesame Street involves their writers & producers working so closely together to find that perfect balance of comedy and education. Balance is indeed everything…for all of us.

[See my interview with Dr. Rosemarie Truglio on The Parent Show at PBS.org]

Today I purge my home of any generic VapoRub. Moving forward, Vicks has a lock on my brand loyalty.

Why you ask?

Drew Brees.

As in the MVP Super Bowl QB for the New Orleans Saints?

That’s the one.

By now I’m sure you’ve seen Drew Brees’ appearance in the Vicks commercial where he is shown caring for his son. I think this is honestly a 1st for a large corporation to present a strong male figure in a caregiving position, without resorting to absurd ridicule or stereotypical judgements which typically call into question the man’s masculinity, intelligence or respectability.

While many men throughout the blogosphere have had a snarky comment or two for Mr. Brees as a result of this commercial spot because…because…actually I’m not too sure why. But with the growing number of Dads that are becoming more involved in actually parenting their children, it’s about time that someone of Drew’s stature stepped up to show how comfortable a man is within such a role.

So I raise my jar of medicated eucalyptus vapor to Procter & Gamble. Hopefully more companies will take their lead and educate society in the idea that caring for a child is not simply Mom’s domain and that the buffoon Dad should remain a fictional character on Saturday morning tween programs. Any thoughts/comments here?

The words that pediatricians use to discuss weight and its effect on health with young patients and their parents can have a big impact on whether the message is heard. For instance, a recent study suggests that terms doctors use to motivate overweight adults to slim down don’t necessarily work for children.

Researchers from Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut, surveyed American parents of children between the ages of 2 and 18. They assessed parents’ perceptions of 10 common terms used to described excess body weight: extremely obese, high BMI, weight problem, unhealthy weight, weight, heavy, obese, overweight, chubby and fat. Parents were asked to indicate how much they perceived each term to be desirable, stigmatizing, blaming, or motivating to lose weight, using a five-point scale.

Not surprisingly, parents rated the terms “weight,” “unhealthy weight,” and “high BMI” as most desirable, least stigmatizing, least blaming, and most motivating for a child to lose weight. On the other hand, they rated “chubby,” “obese,” “extremely obese,” and “fat” as the opposite—the most undesirable, stigmatizing, blaming, and least motivating for a child to lose weight.

While the use of stigmatizing terms may tap into successful “scare tactics” for overweight adults, the use of such terms in conversations with children can have dangerous effects. It may cause them to avoid physical activity, to develop unhealthy eating habits and to suffer psychologically. Even more troublesome, the words a doctor uses can directly affect a parent’s response. For instance, when a doctor used words that were considered stigmatizing, parents were more likely to put their child on a strict diet, avoid future medical appointments or seek a new doctor. All of these things can obviously have harmful implications on a child’s health.

The researchers concluded that “using weight-based language that families find supportive and motivating, and by avoiding labels that instill stigma and shame, providers can help empower families in their efforts to improve health.” Should you ever feel uncomfortable with the way your child’s medical care is administered, you must talk to your doctor. If it’s not going in an appropriate direction, especially if it may affect the care your child receives, it’s due time to weigh your alternatives. Communication is key in any relationship.

Taking this message one step closer to home, you should never underestimate the power of your own words and the effect that it has on your children. If it’s offensive to you, it’s undoubtedly offensive to your kids. So, let’s be careful with the way in which we communicate. Put simply, it’s not about linguistics—it’s about respect.

Reference: Parental Perceptions of Weight Terminology – Puhl, Paterson, & Luedicke (2011)

I met up recently with my friend Joey Mazzarino, who is also the head writer & puppeteer extraordinaire for PBS’ Sesame Street.

I got the scoop on his personal but lesser known puppet favorites like Stinky the StinkWeed, the difficult search for strong girl role models and how his daughter has made such a huge impact on his craft. His segment/song “I Love My Hair” was not only inspired by her, but it was essentially her gift of empowerment and pride for oneself that was wrapped into a clever number which immediately went viral (presently closing in on 3 million views)!

That’s what I call harnessing positive screen power AND the power of a very loving Dad. Need I say, Joey Rocks?!

[See my PBS Parents’ The Parent Show interview with Joey Mazzarino on PBS.org]

Now that we’re nearing November, everyone seems to be gearing up for the holidays. During this time of year, I can’t help but remember family holidays when I was a child—I have fond memories of what seemed like hundreds of people cramming into my grandmother’s tiny one bedroom apartment in the Bronx on many a Thanksgiving. Laughter, loudness and food flowed throughout the day—and I do mean flowed!

But the long day spent with family and friends over a never-ending supply of food at the customary house has gone the way of 8 tracks and vinyl. Lighter and quicker seems to be not only the tech iMantra of today, but the holiday mantra for many as well.  Many people have scaled back their get-togethers; big group celebrations have morphed into more intimate gatherings. One reason for this is that families are often more dispersed, and many must decide either to travel great distances or rather, to set up a new, more local holiday plan.

For me, the holidays have undoubtedly changed. My grandmother is unfortunately no longer with us and the consistent/typical routines, like who hosts which annual event, are often revamped for any number of reasons. Sure, we can turn each of these decisions into an overblown issue—who gets what holiday, who can or can’t come, and so on—but in the end where does that get me and my family?

Holidays are about love and fun—and that needn’t change. Sure, the players and settings may change over time, but life never does stay still…and if it did, what fun would that be? No matter where we celebrate the holidays, I use the following strategies to stay focused on what really matters on these special days:

• Quality always trumps quantity. Try not to concern yourself with family members or friends who have failed to attend but rather find joy in those who’ve decided to join you. And if it’s just you and your significant other, you can still make it a celebration. There’s nothing wrong with getting dressed up for an intimate meal for two at home with a good bottle of wine and a new playlist for the occasion.

• Leave your baggage at the door. Unresolved disputes with parents or siblings, tension with the in-laws, and other issues can quickly ruin a holiday. While it might not be easy, try to let go of all of this and head into the holidays with a fresh, new attitude. Don’t go near certain sensitive issues that some might have a difficult time discussing. This undoubtedly takes work and patience, but you’ll feel better in the end.

• Keep the rituals that your immediate nuclear family enjoys. On Thanksgiving, we go around the table and each say one thing that we’re thankful for in all the other people who are present. While it might sound trite, our kids do enjoy hearing everything that’s offered about them as well as those that they love. It’s nice, and I know that they look forward to it.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff. When making preparations for visitors, you might find that first attempts at recipes fall flat or you remember that noticeable chip in the living room mirror has yet to be fixed. Keep in mind, these things are only issues if you make them so. In the grand scheme of things, they are very small problems—treat them as such.

• Have FUN. Remember, that’s what it’s about.

• Stay positive, positive, positive. Don’t get in the middle of a downward-spiral conversation. Our spirits are meant to be lifted this time of year, not the other way around. If a conversation is becoming stressful, simply take a break from it by maturely stepping away. You can always take a stab at it another day.

• Laughter is truly the best medicine as it boosts the immune system and is a known stress reliever. It’s also contagious, so whoop it up!

• Savor whatever good times and feelings that make this time so special to you.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) report came out last week reiteratin­g their 1999 stance that “babies (0-2 yrs old) should learn from play, not screens”.

The question isn’t whether we all agree that babies should play (who is going to be against play?), but how, in this day and age, do we use this informatio­n in our everyday lives? I crave informatio­n and I believe in well grounded research and advice from experts.

I want us parents to be as informed as possible so that we can see the educationa­l difference in content as we make our media choices for our children and our family. So, although it is not groundbrea­king, there is worthwhile informatio­n for us parents:

– No matter how persuasive the packaging is, it is not likely that a baby will go to Harvard because he watched a baby video. (Yup, they got me too. Hook, line and sinker)

– Shut off the News: Background media is harmful to kids. Babies have been found to play less and adults interact less when the tv is on in the background­. (The news stresses me out, let alone what it would do to my kids…)

– What about my free half hour? Bring back the Playpen (to a certain degree)!   A safe play area with some stacking blocks?  What about sitting on the floor of the kitchen with a pot and a wooden spoon?  Everything in moderation, but a properly setup and tended playpen may be a pretty good alternativ­e to screen time for babies.

– Haven’t we proven that television can be educationa­l? Yes, for preschoole­rs, 2-5 years old, longitudinal studies have proven that curriculum based television programming can help them learn (hello, Blue’s Clues…Super Why!). But babies brains are different. They need to be developed enough to absorb the images and information in order to learn.

Read more on this topic from my friend and colleague, Dr Dan Anderson HERE

I often tell my parents that a good book is the best gift for my daughters. Call me old school but with so many bookstores closing their doors, on-line shopping can be a little impersonal…especially if your child’s out of the age group that you’re looking for. This week, our resident teacher/friend, Laura, has some great picks for the 4-8 year old set (next week 9-12). Enjoy…

Fiction

How Rocket Learned to Read Tad Hills  (national award winner)

This is an adorable picture book about a puppy who is a reluctant reader until he becomes hooked on stories read by a wise little bird.  After that, his joy of reading and learning becomes contagious.

Children Make Terrible Pets Peter Brown
Another cute picture book with a message.  This is a great book for kids like mine who love to catch wild animals and who always beg to keep them.

Bad Kitty (series) Nick Bruel
A hilarious tale (er, tail?) about a mischievous kitty who gets into all sorts of alphabetical trouble.  Even readers who have mastered their ABCs will appreciate Bad Kitty’s antics.

Mercy Watson (series) Kate DiCamillo
Oh the things this porcine wonder will do for buttered toast!  This was my son’s first dip into chapter books, and years later he still loves to go back and read them.

Star Jumper: Journal of a Cardboard Genius (series) Frank Asch
Themes of sibling rivalry, escapism, imagination and creativity in this book speak to anyone who has dared to dream big.

Non-Fiction

Balloons over Broadway: The True Story of the Puppeteer of Macy’s Parade, by Melissa Sweet
Just in time for the Thanksgiving Day parade, this beautiful and informative picture book shows children how it all got started in beautiful mixed-media illustrations.

Poetry Speaks to Children, by Elise Paschen
A selection of over 90 poems for children, 50 of them read aloud by the poet on the accompanying CD

It’s Not What You’ve Got!  Lessons for Kids on Money and Abundance, by Dr. Wayne Dyer with Kristina Tracy
In these trying economic times, this book can help us talk to our kids about money and abundance, and the feelings that come with having it or not.

Weird but True (series), by National Geographic Kids
Weird, wacky, fun and all true facts based on the wildly popular National Geographic Kids magazine.  This book is always a hit with the 6-9 year old crowd.

The Secret Knowledge of Grownups (books 1 and 2), by David Wisniewski
The title should tell you all you know about why kids would want to read this book, but you’ll like it too!

Happy Reading!

Dave Isay, producer of StoryCorps, has had a desire from the age of thirteen to preserve loved ones’ stories. The StoryCorps oral history project allows you to do just that.  There is no time like the present to listen and hold onto the stories that often play a large part in who we are.

Such inspiring and moving stories of humanity teach us to slow down to listen not only to our aged family members, whose stories usually go unrecorded, but also to focus on our kids to really respect their words. And in turn this will undoubtedly strengthen who they are. So step into one of his booths, which are located around the country, for 40 minutes to interview someone you love.

Click HERE to find a booth near you or to get more info on StoryCorps because everyone’s got a great story to tell.

[See my interview with Dave Isay on PBS.org]