As we near the end of another year, it always helps to regroup and take a moment to reflect on the previous 12 months before we find ourselves in 2012. If I were writing this into a preschool TV script, I would simplify it as something like, “Stop, Think and Act.” We do this in so many aspects of life—driving, ordering at a restaurant, deciding on the appropriate school for our kids. But when it comes to ourselves, what we’ve learned from our experiences, how our life is going and the direction we’d like to go in the future, we rarely follow this directive.

The fact is, most people don’t really strategically plan their lives. Sure, they’ll contemplate accepting a job offer, where to live or which events to attend, but when it comes to actually setting up logical steps and moving forward on one’s own life path, most just spontaneously react to whatever life throws their way. And the old cliché, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail” applies here as well.

So as we get ready to close on another year, take a moment to assess a few areas in your life. I have honestly filled a ridiculously large number of notebooks over the years doing this following exercise to stay focused and on course. Call me type A, but it really does work! Whether you’d like to focus on friendship, love, work or school, there are a few questions to consider:

What would make you the happiest—emotionally AND physically? Don’t worry about how to acquire such things at this stage of the process—simply make a list of all the things that would bring you joy in 2012.

Does your life right now involve any of the elements listed above? If not, what adjustments can you make to incorporate these things into your life?

What would life be like if you were to apply these adjustments/changes?

What can you realistically do to make this goal more attainable?

Who is your support team? How can they assist you in achieving this goal?

Are you ready to make yourself and your goals a priority? Keep in mind that while it’s important to assist and support others, the care of yourself is instrumental in achieving any of your personal
goals

As you work toward reaching your goals, be sure to embrace your achievements along the way—these will keep you motivated to keep moving forward.

This exercise is a great way to wrap up the year and start to look forward to the coming one. It can help you get 2012 started off on the right foot.

Growing up I was but one of the many boys/men that had the Farrah Fawcett swimsuit poster smiling from my wall. I didn’t think much of it until Sunday, when doing a little holiday shopping.

Mind you I’m no prude but, especially as a Dad, I cringe a little when I walk my pre-teen daughter past the Victoria’s Secret partly due to the well shot, yet risqué, photos meticulously hung all over the storefront…but I guess they are displaying what they essentially sell. But as I walked into Abercrombie & Fitch (I’m quite certain it was the kids section), the ever so carefully cropped, flagrant photos of their male, teen-ish models were difficult to ignore.

At an age for my daughter when sexuality is slowly entering her world, it must be difficult for her to understand what the limits should be for her. As it’s not uncommon for her to hear that some friends are starting to “date” and she’s aware that certain changes are inevitably around the corner, I could understand her confusion. And it must be difficult for her to even formulate the necessary questions when boundaries are pushed all around her or the flip side, wherein the subject is too taboo for some to even address.

This is why, it’s so very important for parents to open up to their kids about what’s acceptable for them. Because if we don’t communicate with them about sex and sexuality, what they see out there will dictate what the norm “should” be and then ladies & gentlemen, we have a problem.

While having lunch on Monday with some co-workers, I couldn’t keep from glancing to the side at an adjacent table. There was an eight(ish)-year-old child with a woman who seemed to be either the girl’s older aunt or grandmother. On the surface, it looked like a nice, inter-generational date between two people.

But when I looked closer, I was a bit uncomfortable by the lack of warmth between them—although there were little smiles exchanged from time to time, there was little connection between the two. There were but a few words exchanged between them, and the adult’s responses to questions were short and brief. Much of the time was spent looking around the room, down at the menus or fidgeting with whatever was within arm’s reach. From my vantage point, neither seemed to truly gain anything from the experience.

It’s unsettling for me to see people physically together, but lacking any visible connection when all they have to do is make just a small conscious effort. Sure, it can be difficult to turn away from our to-do lists and adult responsibilities to get some focused, one-on-one time with a child or teen. And when the generation gap increases, it seems to be even more of a chore for both parties to engage each other. Their interests, points of view and sometimes even their language can seem so different. (Although, I personally found my grandma’s stories and spunky attitude fascinating, and as a result, we connected with each other when others found it difficult.)

But bridging the generational gap benefits both sides: Being around younger people can help you feel youthful, even. I remember how my grandma would light up with enthusiasm when we spoke—it was nice to see. And as the older person, you can help educate your young companion, and offer him or her the insights of your wisdom and experience.

As a mother of two who works in children’s TV programming, I’m around kids all the time. I typically use the four strategies below to really connect with them when we’re spending quality time together.

Get Personal – There’s nothing better than sharing with each other unique anecdotal stories that make each of you who you are. The more personal and sacred, the better—both parties should feel special to be privy to this type of semi-private information. My girls love the story of when my aunt talked a then nine-year-old me into cutting off my long hair, just like my aunt’s hair style, simply because I was too embarrassed to say no to her.

Be a Student – Whether it’s something he learned in school, a magic trick or a joke, have him share it with you, and then repeat it to him afterward. In this way, he’ll believe that something he said or shared with you was important enough for you to remember.

Go one-on-one – It doesn’t matter if you have one or five children or grandchildren—if you’re looking for long overdue quality time, try to schedule it so you can spend alone time with each one individually. The undistracted focus on one child at a time does wonders. Just don’t forget to spread the wealth among the others.

Focus on quality over quantity – You don’t have to plan a full day of non-stop activities to get the most of your time together. Whatever time you have, dig in, learn from each other and, if you allow it, you may just come out knowing a little more about yourself.

When I was asked to speak about how to “Balance Life as a Modern Woman ”, I thought “ Wait a second. Do I have the answer? Because I have no idea….” So, after the panic attack, I shared my story on Monday with several hundred moms and educators from my daughter’s school.

But here’s the truth…I never thought I would be a working mom.  My life is all about kids.

I am still learning how to navigate the 2 worlds of being a mom that works, but here are 6 clues from my talk, that have assisted me in the attempt to balance it all while staying sane:

CLUE #1: SUPPORT
Wherever you may get it from, don’t be too proud to accept…and acknowledge it.

CLUE #2: HAVE PASSION FOR WHAT YOU DO
It’s like oxygen, you need it to be successful

CLUE #3:  TEAMWORK.  IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD
Nothing like friends who you can call on to help you out at the last minute, or work friends who understand that sometimes you need to be somewhere.  No questions asked.

CLUE #4:  TRUST THE TEAM
Little by little I started to learn more about how to let go – at work and at home.

CLUE #5:  BE PLAYFUL
It gets you out of a lot of difficult situations.

CLUE #6:  INVOLVE YOUR KIDS IN WHAT YOU DO, and they, in turn, will involve YOU in what THEY do
My girls are critical connoisseurs of media.  They write scripts with me, give notes on rough cuts of animation, weigh in on music.  There’s nothing that builds self esteem better than having your voice heard.

Good luck in your personal quest for balance!

Too much or not enough?

To help or not to help?

Homework…these are the questions.

When I was asked about it recently, I realized I have very strong opinions on the subject. Here are a few of the things I feel passionately about:

1. Homework should be either a review, a reflection or an extension of something learned in class.  It should NEVER be new material assigned for a student to learn by himself because the teacher doesn’t have time to teach it
2. Unless otherwise specified by the teacher, a parent’s role in homework is to make sure your child understands the assignment and make sure he does the assignment.  That’s it!   Homework is used as a tool for the teacher to know what the child is capable of doing on his own outside of class. You are not doing your child a favor when you micro-manage or correct your child’s homework.  It isn’t your homework!  And besides, we always know  😉
3. The amount of homework to give is one of the most difficult issues to manage for teachers.  What may be too much for one child in the class may seem not enough for another based on learning style, organizational skills and the subject matter.  Expectations of the (collective) parent body, school, school district, etc. also factors into homework.  Not to make excuses, but it is hard to please everyone!

When in doubt about a teacher’s homework policy or the type or amount of homework your child is getting, don’t be afraid to talk to the teacher and explain any concerns you have or difficulties your child may be experiencing.

One common thread among successful people is that they’ve all been inspired in some way or another. I know that when I created Blue’s Clues, it was my brother, who is 14 years younger than me, who served as my inspiration. When he was six, I saw him physically reacting to a somewhat aggressive show he was watching. So I thought, why not harness that interactive power, but in a positive way? Hence, Blue’s Clues. And when The Fred Rogers Company asked that my team and I create the follow-up to Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, what better inspiration than Fred himself? If I couldn’t find inspiration through his helpful ways and pleasant demeanor, I think I would’ve changed careers!

Of course, you don’t have to have a major project on your to-do list to find inspiration. In fact, for many creative people, finding inspiration is almost a routine part of their day. Unfortunately, though, too many people go about their day un-inspired, simply moving from task to task, watching the clock tick away in apathy. Life should involve pleasure, enjoyment and excitement—and finding something that inspires you each day can help you live that kind of life.

To me, inspiration is almost a heightened sense of awareness, where you get lost in your feelings and can spontaneously react to them in some way or another. T. S. Elliot said, “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” So, let the process take you to that unknown place. Some days are definitely easier than others to allow yourself to get swept away, but if you typically struggle to find inspiration, here are a few ways to find it:

Brush up on current events. If you read or see something that arises a strong emotion within you, get it out! Harness that idea or opinion in a positive way. For example, I was honestly tired of all the bipartisanship I’ve been reading so much of in the news lately, so I wrote what seemed to me like an ideal situation into an upcoming episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. In the episode, we discuss voting and illustrate different groups working together regardless of the outcome of the vote.

Look to friends and loved ones. Tap into the feelings that you get from the special people in your life to create something personal. I think it’s fair to say that the majority of great works of art were inspired by amore. As I mentioned earlier, my first draft of Blue’s Clues was essentially a way for me to give someone I loved dearly, my brother, the tools and lessons that would truly benefit him in life.

Appreciate the arts. Speaking of art, if music, dance or studio art speak to you, expose yourself to it more often. The beauty, the rhythm, the colors can inspire you to create your own masterpiece. Even if you can’t draw a straight line (which I honestly can’t), bring a small sketchbook to an art show or museum and simply doodle—you’ll be surprised at what unconsciously emerges!

Turn to religion. If you’re a religious person, what better muse to inspire incredible thoughts and actions? If you find a certain strength from going to church, then attend services or  various functions held by the church. If a Gregorian chant mentally takes you to a safer, more pleasant place, by all means add it to your playlist.

Get active. Being in tune with and focusing on your body allows you to hear what it has to say. If your body feels good, there’s a definite correlation to how your head feels as well, all contributing to an inspirational frame of mind. Perhaps it’s the effect of allowing more oxygen into the brain, which also allows you to think more clearly after you have physically pushed your body.

Grab a pen. Spontaneously writing in your own private journal allows you to process and reflect on much of what’s going on inside you. Even if you’re not a professional writer, it is a most freeing feeling to get it all down on paper. Many go about their day on auto-pilot, repeating their daily activities without reflecting upon them. This writing will allow you to put your ideas, dreams or desires in front of you in a much clearer fashion, inspiring you to actually obtain them. I have journals and mini notebooks all over my house and office with notes scribbled throughout, as this really helps me with an inspirational game plan going forward. And after a project or episode is complete, what better motivation for me to create the next one than seeing the joyful reaction of children all over the globe after seeing the fruits of my labor?

Whatever your passion might be, get lost within it. It feels great, and you’ll love the outcome!

After a long day at school, my children usually need an energy boost to hold them over until dinnertime. And honestly, a little pick-me-up that doesn’t play see-saw with my blood sugar levels helps get me through an afternoon slump, too. If you’re tempted to raid the office vending machine around 3 or 4, or you find that the fridge calls out to you a few hours before dinner, try a high-protein snack—protein is more satiating than fat or carbs to tide you over. Try to cap your snack at 200 calories; 100 calories if it’s within an hour of dinner. Here are a few ideas that are sure to satisfy both you and the kids:

Low-Fat Cheese
Kid-friendly fare: Use a few thin, unsalted pretzel sticks to skewer a few mini cheese rounds for a fun snack. Or take out your holiday cookie cutters for all kinds of fun shapes! Use different types of cheese to vary the color on their plate.

Grown-up grub: String cheese is always a quick and easy snack when you’re on the go. Serve with a few halved cherry tomatoes and whole-grain crackers for a well-balanced snack.

Peanut Butter
Kid-friendly fare: Assuming there are no peanut allergies, try a PB&J sandwich on mini whole-grain waffles or whole-grain, brown rice cakes instead of bread. For a fun, new presentation for your child, fill celery sticks with peanut butter and top with strategically placed raisins to create Ants on a Log.

Grown-up grub: Use peanut butter as a dip for your favorite cut-up veggies or spread it onto a couple of Gala apple slices for a sweet treat that has a nice protein punch.

Eggs

Kid-friendly fare: Get creative with omelets, using healthy ingredients your child likes. You can even try whipping up a taco omelet, which is essentially a taco salad (with lean beef) but in an omelet.

Grown-up grub: Prepare hard-boiled eggs when you have the time and keep them refrigerated until you need a quick, filling snack.

Whole-Grain Cereal

Kid-friendly fare: Cereal’s not just for breakfast! Serve their favorite whole-grain cereal (my kids love Kashi) with milk, which is high in calcium and vitamins. You can even add flavorful dried fruit, such as cranberries, blueberries or bananas, to get a nice dose of disease-fighting antioxidants.

Grown-up grub: I put a cup or two of whole-grain cereal in a zip-top baggie and stash it in my purse for a ready-to-eat snack.

Low-Fat Ham
Kid-friendly fare: Roll up thin slices for a fun and easy snack. You may even want to add cheese to these roll-ups for a cleaner way to grasp onto them and for extra protein.

Grown-up grub: Put a thin slice of ham on whole-wheat bread with a spoonful of apricot jelly and a dab of Dijon mustard for a nice change from the norm.

Yogurt
Kid-friendly fare: Serve it plain or with fresh fruit, or step it up a notch by mixing it all together and freezing to create frozen yogurt popsicle treats. Just grab one from the freezer at any time for a healthy and easy snack that’ll keep you going.

Grown-up grub: Mix some chives, garlic powder and a dash of finely chopped cilantro into your yogurt to create a tasty dip for some whole-grain pita chips or some carrot and celery sticks.

Whatever your snack choice may be, mix up the variety and let it fuel you for much longer than it takes you to eat it.

Who else pre-bought tickets to the Muppets?!

We did!

On premiere day, Greg and I took the girls to see the new Muppet Movie.  We were all excited…and we loved it!  I have to admit that I got choked up a few times – especially at the idea that I was sharing this happy part of my own childhood with my girls. And well, a   comeback story always gets me.  And Rainbow Connection?  Bring on the tears.

My girls? They laughed!  And they were sad when Walter was sad.  And they cheered at the end.

And Mommy was a hero!

Why?

Because I know Walter!  Peter Linz, the amazingly talented actor who plays Walter played Polka Dots & Doodle Board on Blue’s Room.  My girls remember meeting Peter who was always so sweet to them.   Congrats to Peter!   You were awesome!

I seriously wish more movies for kids were like The Muppet Movie.  Silly, heartfelt, fun for all ages.  “Forget You” in chicken bok?   Genius.

And my girls can’t stop singing, “Manamana!”   Bonus!

We have all heard far too much regarding the Penn State incident and the trending statistics have gratefully subsided. But one aspect which has barely had it’s surface scratched and is negatively affected by such an occurrence, is the stigma that most men must deal with as they care for children. While many would like for men to play a more active role in bringing up their children, there exists an obvious gender bias when a man is seen playing with a child in a public park or elsewhere.

As more men have been taking on this new role with their children, society has begun it’s slow crawl towards losening it’s gender stereotypes and well basically, evolving. BUT when a case of abuse at the hands of a few severely ill men has been uncovered, all of this progress takes a few giant leaps back. While we’d love for society to be more accepting of any rationally minded minority, it’s not easy when cases such as the one in Pennsylvania are made known.

I have met some amazing men in my 11 years of being in the Dad Club. To compare any of them to Jerry Sandusky et al. would do them a huge disservice. While it’s never easy to positively know if someone is just or truthful, if we take the time and look with eyes wide open, I believe we can trust our intuition.

I am thankful for those who chose to live their lives educated and aware rather than generalizing and limiting their view of the world because there’s a ton of good out there, you’ve just got to weed out the crazy!

Happy Thanksgiving

So our kids are well into the thick of things at school. But has the excitement of a new year dissipated? Is that new leaf, which was turned over in September, starting to flip itself back over?  I went to Laura to help us out here on how to keep that love of learning spark hot. “As a mom and a teacher, what are some common issues you see at this point in the school year with kids?

This is one of the trickiest times of the year for both parents and teachers.  For teachers, the newness has worn off and students who come into the classroom in September eager to learn and anxious to please sometimes get stuck in the rut of routine.  It is up to us to re-invigorate the schedule within the comfort of that routine we cherish. It is easy for teachers and students to “slack” between Thanksgiving and Winter holiday breaks because parent-teacher conferences are over and less is expected in terms of testing. But a good teacher can turn out some incredibly valuable activities during that time, much in part for that same reason- the children learn not because they are being assessed, but because they are interested and their thoughts are arrived at organically.

Similarly for parents, once the excitement of the unknown that comes with starting a new school has worn off, all those well-intentioned promises like “I’m going to practice the violin every day” and “I’ll get my homework done before I play,” can quickly become daily battles.  I find my kids work best if they have a written schedule of expectations.  Figure out each task that needs to be done and write it down on a list, a chart or in a planner, depending on your child’s age and organizational style.  There’s something about checking off completed tasks which is simply and amazingly satisfying.